Bereavement

The loss of a loved one, particularly a husband, wife, parent or child is a traumatic experience. However, most people, no matter how heartbroken and desperate they feel, manage to find the strength to cope with their loss -- though it may take as long as two years to adjust to it.

Even when death is expected, the first reaction is usually one of shock and numbness. This may last from one or two days to several weeks. Emotions are vivid yet at the same time muddled and unexpected; details may be difficult to take in and remember.

As the finality of loss sinks in, grief becomes intense. The mind becomes preoccupied with thoughts of the dead person, and somtimes there are feelings that he is still present, so that the table may continut to be set f orhim or conversations started with him. Famililar sights and sounds may keep conjuring up the dead person. Such behaviour -- whicih may last for months -- may seem strange to others, but it is in fact quite a normal reaction to loss.

Deep depression often follows. It may show itself in any or all of the following ways: loss of interest in life, lack of energy, poor sleeping and weight loss or increase. Support and understanding from family and friends are the best help for the bereaved person, but if, despite such help, depression persists, medical treatment with antidepreesants may be needed.

Physical illness is not unusual in a bereaved person during the year following loss, particularly loss of a husband, wife, parent or child.

In older people loss of a life partner appears to increase the likelihood of death from other natural causes -- there is some truth in the expression 'dying from a broken heart'.

Coming To Terms With Bereavement
Coping with the death of a close relative or friend is a very personal matter, but experience has shown that the following can help:

• Seeing and touching the body of the dead person and attending the funeral acknowledges the fact of death -- which can be a first step to accepting it.
• Not taking alcohol, sedatives or antidepressants routinely, but only if they are absolutely necessary and recommended by the doctor.
• For those who wish to support and help a bereaved individual the time of greatest need is on anniversaries of the death, birthdays, Christmas and other times when memories become strongest. At this time loneliness is greatest.
• A close relative who has to deal with the practical matters after a death -- registration of the death, funeral arrangements, insurance claims -- may need guidance from the undertaker.

More Links

• Coping With Death of a Loved One
• Grief and the Mind
• Grief and the Body
• Stages Of Grief
• Grief, Bereavement & Mourning